Vacation Time !
by Evilyuffie
Summary: [Crossover FF IV,VI,VII,VIII,IX,X] The heroes of Final Fantasy decide to take holidays... all together... Err It's gonna be a mess ! Rated T for language and violence. R&R plz
1. Travel and slaughters

**_Vacation Time !_**

Disclaimer : I don't own Final Fantasy

* * *

**CHAPTER 1 : Travel and slaughters**

**  
**

The heroes of Final Fantasy leave to the mountain in bus, but… aouch… They're going together…

The trip starts, Selphie's driving.

"Hey Sephiroth !" Seifer shouted

"Hu ?" he answered

"Why don't ya take away your damn sword ! It takes all the place !"

"Take away my masamune blade ! Never ! But if there's not enough place for you, why don't get out et run behind us !"

"You little… !"

"Stop ! " Quistis interrupted, already pissed off. "Don't start again !"

"Alright, alright..." they both sighed.

--o--

A long silence filled the bus for some time before Selphie happily broke it.

"Yeah ! Mountain !"

"Ho nooo…" Kefka started, visibly sick. "She's already going nuts."

"What did the clown say ?"

Kefka started turning green.

"That you get on my nerves ! Just shut up ! I'd like dying in peace !

"What is it supposed to mean ?" Selphie asked, a little offended.

"That no one of us will arrive alive if you're the one driving !" he answered exasperated.

Selphie fumed. Suddenly an idea popped in her head ! (Incredible ! lol)

"Terraaaaaaa !" she shouted with a sadistic smile. "The guy dress like a clown said you look like a pokemon !"

Kefka was panicking.

"Wha… ? No it's not…WWWWAAAAAAA !"

Terra had transformed in Esper et had thrown Kefka by the window. Selphie didn't try to hide her satisfied smile.

--o--

The front of the bus seemed to become calmer, but for the rest of the vehicle it was another story.

"Great ! Great ! Great ! The mountainmountainmountain !

Squall turned to look at Yuffie who was overexcited.

"Ho no ! Not again…"he sighed

"Squall" Quistis started "as the leader of the Balamb Garden, you have to…"

"…show the exemple to the students , new and former ones and blablabla" he finished pissed off

Quistis looked at him severely.

"Alright…" he groaned, standing up.

"Listen everybody !" he started loudly "The next one who bugs me, I throw him by the window…"

Quistis was going to reprimand him but all she could say was "SQUA… HHHAAAAAA !" when she was thrown out of the bus by the Seed's leader. "…Like this !"Squall finished.

"YEAH ! Seifer shouted, jumping everywhere. "We're free ! Quitis' gone !"

It was champagne time.

--o--

"Squall, can you throw Tifa too ?" Rinoa asked. "She's taking all the place !"

"Not… even tr…true" she retorted, breast squashed between the seats.

"Maybe we could… cut what's in the way…" Sephiroth proposed.

"Don't even think about it ! Cloud threaten.

"Hoo.. Or else, what you're gonna do ?" the bad guy smirked

"Err… Squall ! You can't let a girl being cut !

Squall analyzed the situation, then sighed again.

"Alright, Sephiroth, don't do it." He said feeling a little awkward for Rinoa. "I have a mobile phone, so I can call your mother."

He jerked his hands up, panicking.

"No no no ! Okay I won't do it !"

"You,Tifa, move ! Go sit at the back !" Squall said

"Can't…" she choked " stuck…"

"Wait ! Here some help !" Rinoa said

She put her back against the window and began kick strongly, and happily, Tifa.

"Hey !" Cloud was not really happy to see that.

"It doesn't seem to work… I know ! (Wow !) Sephiroth ! Cut the seat !"

Sephiroth nodded and stood in front of the poor dying girl. He took his sword, raised it… "HHHAAAAAAAAAARGGHHH !"

There was a long silence, then they all turned around.

"Ohooh…" Sephiroth wasn't too reassured.

Of course, Aerith was there, sword right in her chest.

"Ho no ! Look what you did !" Locke complained.

"Not on purpose…" murmured Sephiroth sheepish

"Well, there's only one thing to do…"Squall started annoyed. 

They all look at each other, nodding.

Cloud and Sephiroth took her and threw her outside.

"Yeah ! More place now !" Seifer shouted

"Yeah but she messed the seats ! Locke grumbled

"Weeell… Why don't we use Tifa ?" Rinoa proposed with a smile. "I'm sure her breast must scrub well !"

Cloud drew his sword and aim it to her "Repeat that ?" he hissed

"Put you 'knife' away !" Squall said, drawing is sword as well.

"Hooo… Or else ?" He charged Squall who stayed calm.

"Lionhea…"

Cloud stopped, petrified.

"Alright ! I stop !"

Meanwhile, Tifa was still stuck. "Help… Can't breath…!" she articulated with difficulty.

"Hohohoho ! Cloud, the coward !" Sephiroth laughed

"Shut up !" the blond roared

--o--

Suddenly, the car started to zigzaged strangely.

"You… get lost" Selphie struggled. "Don't touch the wheal DAMMIT !"

"Drive ! Drivingdrivingdriving ! A crazy Yuffie yelled, hands on the wheal.

"She's sooo nuts !"

"Hm… We already knew that" Seifer said.

"Don't look at her face !" Terra warned

Unfortunately, Selphie turn to Yuffie and, horrified, she jumped through the window with a big "HHHYYYYAAAAAA !"

Yuffie took the wheal, the bus was dangerously heading toward the ditch.

"We have to stop her !" Celes panicked.

"Look !" Rinoa point the finger. "The mountain ! We have to hurry or she will make us fall in the void !"

"So, what can we do ?" Terra asked. We're going to choke if we look at her ! Her face is too ugly !"

During their thinking, Yuffie tested the levers and unexpectendly open the doors. Alas (or luckily maybe), one of her materia fell and roll out of the bus. She threw herself outside, trying to catch it. "MATERRRIIAAAAAAA !" she shouted.

Then for a second, everybody stared at the seat left vacant by the monst…errr… Yuffie.

"The wheal !" They all yelled, jumping at it.

Too late, the bus was going to fall in the void. But suddenly it was put back on the road by…a man in blue with a red cape.

"Superman… ?" Rinoa looked at him surprised.

"What's he doin' here ?" Cloud wonder

Superman, from outside, was smiling to them, waving a hand.

"Gee… We didn't need that" Squall yawned.

"Don't worry, I take care of it" Sephiroth said. He climbed on the top of the car.

"Are you alright ?" Superman inquired.

"Yeah yeah ! Supernova !"

"HHHHHAAAAAAAAA !"

"Really, we're lucky we were already back on the road". Rinoa said, looking the burned superman falling down.

"True…"Tifa nodded, still stuck. "Now, can you… help me ?"

Sephiroth got back in the bus.

"You should have stay outside !" Locke told him

"What ?"

"ENOUGH !" Squall roared. "If you want to fight, get down ! Or else, shut it ! The next one who bugs me, I blow him away !"

Then, he sat down and tried to find some sleep.

"Tch… Killjoy. Seifer muttered. Cloud nodded.

"Sure…"Tifa said, having more and more difficulties to breath."Errr…helping hand… ? Please !

Silence again.

--o--

"Why don't we play a little ?" Celes proposed, bored to death.

"What shit is she going to do…?" Sephiroth thought

"Listen up !" She took a deep breath.

Everybody paled.

"Ho my herooOOOoO… Heeyyyyy ! What are you doing ? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…"BAAMM !

"You could have stopped the car before hurl her outside !" Rinoa said.

"No waste of time… !" Sephiroth answered.

Locke bent over the window watching Celes' form rolling on the road. "Err…Sorry Celes !" he shouted. "But don't worry, I'll call you when we arrive !"

"Pleeease… help meee… !" Tifa cried.

Not paying attention Seifer approched Sephiroth "Holidays might be good now that the morons are out" The ex-knight glanced at Squall. "But, there's still one left." Sephiroth nodded. That's when Terra burst in front of them.

"Hey ! Come look at this ! We have a free-rider !" she pointed at the back ok the bus. Seifer and Sephitoth bursted out laughing.

"That's the best he ever done !"

"I want… to see too… !" Tifa tried for the nth time. But, poor girl, nobody paid any attention.

"Heeeeello ! Locke yelled by the window. "Watcha doin' here stupid clown ?"

"Stop that bullshits and help me !" Kefka shouted.

"BWAHAHAA ! One of his leg got stuck !" Sephiroth and Seifer laughed again.

"Alright…" Terra sighed. "It's not funny if Kefka's not here, I can't blow him. Irvine, stop the car !" He nodded and stop the vehicle. They all got out… or almost all.

"Please !" Tifa begged. "I wanna… come out too !"

After some time, and also some shouting, laughing and kicking Kefka was release and everyone started to get back in the car, but…"STOP !"

"Wha…?"Sephiroth turned around. "WAAHHHHHH !" His eyes widened. It was… It was…He took Seifer and threw him inside. "Hurry" he shouted to Irvine. "It's QUISTIS !"

" ARGHHHH !" they all yelled "We have to get the hell out of here !"

An apparently very pissed off Quistis was running toward the vehicule which started up in a rush.

"Stop there !"

The bus moved away rapidly.

"Come back here !"

"Watcha sayin' Quistis ?" Sephiroth shouted by the window. "Can't hear you !"

"STOP DAMMIT !"

Two minutes later, the only thing they could see was a big black cloud (not the blond one eh lol) above the road.

"No stop anymore…" Locke grumbled.

--o--

A little peace seemed finally settled in the bus. Kefka who was starting to recover from his little trip, stood in front of a dying brunette. "Ohhh ! This is so great ! I came back a few minutes ago and there's already a dying person !

"I don't see… what is so… great about… that… !" she choked.

And here come Cloud, head in hands, eyes widened "Tifa ! Why don't you remind us we had to save you !"

Tifa was getting sick of it and, God knows how, managed to broke free. Then she slapped Cloud hard in the face. Seifer couldn't hold a laugh.

"Oohh ! Must hurt !"

"Wanna try ? Tifa threatened.

Seifer swallowed and shook his head.

"Ohh ! Seifer's affraid of a girl ! Sephiroth shouted. "WAHAHAHA !"

"Shut up ! I was traumatized by the blue iron board !

"Who are you talking about ! " Rinoa snapped

"Well… of course yo…"Seeing her angry look, he stopped. "Errr…Nevermind…"

It was followed by a muscular arguing between the two of them. Meawhile, Sephiroth was drawing flowers on a sleeping Squall face, and Terra was running everywhere, searching for some sadistic puppet guy "Kefka ! Where are you hiding again !"

"I'm… I'm gone !" he answered from under a seat.

--o--

"OINNNN !" (supposed to be a klaxon, but errr… let's say it's some luxurious weird one lol)

"What the… ?"

They all look by the window.

"Oh ooooh !" Seifer exclaimed. "Isn't it the Princess of the runes and her rabble ?"

Indeed, outside there was Garnet in a beautiful car, with Zidane, Steiner and Beatrix. There was a long silence during everyone stared at the four stup… errr people outside. Then Sephiroth sat up and started go on the top of the car once again. "Well, I'm gonna wich them a safe trip !"

"A safe trip ?" Tifa wondered.

Another long silence, then they heard something like "Supernova !". Suddenly, Garnet's car blew up and ran off in the decor.

"Ah… Of course !"

"It make sense now." The blond knight said.

"Yeah, abfolutely. "Cloud added, three less teeth and face covered with bruises.

Next, Sephiroth came back and they all could hear the voice of Irvine "We are arrived everybody !"

"Finally" They sighed.

* * *

**Next chapter** :  Destruction ? 

-Okay, first, sorry if there are mistakes, it's my first fanfic in English.

-Err… I know Yuffie is the one who gets sick generally but, I wanted to make her a little crazy instead. Just for the fun lol

Hope you liked it ! See ya ! ;)


	2. Destruction ?

**_Vacation Time !_**

Disclaimer : I don't own Final Fantasy

**CHAPTER 2** : Destruction ?

* * *

The heroes of Final Fantasy finally arrived at their hotel in order to take some holidays. And now, new people are coming. 

Sephiroth sat in front of the hotel, doing nothing.  
The arrival of a vehicule drew his attention. It was a big white and red car. "An ambulance ?" he said surprised.

"An ambulance ! Where ?" Kefka popped up of nowhere.

"Hooo ! Here is the clown !"

"What did you say, granny ?"

"Who're ya callin' granny, midget !"

"You ! You little… hu ?"

"What ?"

"GRRRRRRRRRRR !"

Sephiroth frowned. "Wha…?" The two bad guys turned toward the ambulance and squeaked. "Nooooooooooo !" Sephiroth yelled, his head between his hands. "Qui… Quistis !" The woman was glaring daggers to them, without forgotten the dark cloud above her head. Kefka felt his face profusely sweating and tried to quickly move away. "Err… Well, see you Sephiroth ! I leave you have fun with your friend !"

"WHAT ? You first !" He took Kefka by his collar and threw him toward Quistis before running away.

"ASSHOLE !" shouted Kekfa who was gently beaten to death.

--o--

Sephiroth burst in the hotel, distraught and arms in the air. "Run for you life everybody ! The Terror has came back !"

" Why ? You were gone ?" Seifer asked from his room.

BOUMMM !

"Touchy…" the blond mumbled in his burned room.

"She's here ! She's here !" Sephiroth continued, running around. Squall left his room and sweatdropped when he saw Cloud's rival jumping everywhere, tearing his hair.

"Who ? Who is here ?" The Seed inquired.

"Princess Leïa !"

"Princess Leia ? She's here ?"

A long silence filled the room. Both men looked at each other right in the eyes. Ten seconds later, they were happily beating the author of some fanfic  
Sephiroth : Don't make us talk nonsense ! (EY : Gomen gomen… ! T.T)

Well, errr… back to the story.

"IT'S QUISTIS ! " Sephiroth yelled. Everybody left their room, screaming. "QUISTIS !"

Suddenly a little multicoloured object crossed the room and splatted against the wall. It slowly sliped down and appeared to be a sadistic bad clown, a.k.a Kekfa. "The bitch… here…" he choked. Long silence.

" HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !" they all shouted. There was a big mess, everybody starting to yell and run everywhere. "Hurry ! Let's flee !"

"Where's my bras ?"

"I lost my trench coat !"

"My gunblade !"

"Who the hell walked on my masamune !"

"Angelo ! Where are you ?"

"Kyahahahahaha !"

Then, the door opened. They all frozed when they saw Quitis come in, followed by Adel, Ultimecia and Brahne. "WWWWAAAAAAHHHHHH !" Everybody tried to escape.  
"Oh my god !" Tifa panicked. "She came with an army of monsters !" Quistis silent, watched the scene. " ………………Orbital !" she murmured after a little while.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

That's how the first day finished, with three-quarter of the main hall in pieces.

--o--

The next day was calmer. Sephiroth, Seifer, Cloud and Kefka (them again ! lol) was outside. A bus arrived. And an herd…errr… a group of people got out.

"Dammit Kimahri ! You have fleas or what ?" Tidus shouted, trying to scrath his back.

"Tidus would not have to scratch if Tidus would take shower sometimes" answered the blue creature.

"Shut up !" he snapped "I take bath in lakes me !"

"_We wonder what you are doing else in it…" _Auron thought

"Well, I'm going to take a turn" Sephiroth stand up.

"Hey ! Wait a sec, granny !" Seifer said.

_Granny ?_ "What did you say !"

"I have to kick your ass !" Seifer announced, very serious. Sephiroth burst out laughing

"Me ? You think you can opposed ME ! BWHAHAHAHA !"

"That's not funny !"

"Ridiculous ! Nobody can fight me !"

"What ?" Kefka shouted. "Alright, so let's see !"

They stared at each other during _a few_ _hours_. "Okay" Sephiroth finally said. Then Kuja and Seymour popped out of nowhere. "And us !" Kuja said."We're bad guys too !" Sephiroth nodded. "Alright."

--o--

In the hotel.

Cloud, who was back inside for a long time, sighed. "Geez. It's hot in there !"

"Ha ! Here you are ! My little Cloudy…" Said Tifa while she slowly approched him.

"What ?" The blond was confused and became redder than the redder existent thing when Tifa locked her arms around him.

"Don't be so shy." She murmured in his ear. "But, but, but…" It was all Cloud managed to say.

"Youhouuuu Clouuud ! I'm waiting for you !" Aeris, who upraised who knows how, yelled from her room.

"WHAT ? You cheat on me with the zombie !" Tifa choked, which made Cloud blush even more (if possible). "But but but… Cloud repeated.

"SHE'S SO DEAD !" Tifa screamed and went upstairs.

"But, but but..."

--o--

Aeris's room.

"You little bitch !" Tifa shouted to Aeris.

"What the siliconed one want from me !"

"Have something against my beautiful breast ?"

"Lightly big maybe ?"

Tifa rolled her eyes. « Well, at least I have one ! Not like some iron board fool in shorts !" Of course like some enchantment, Rinoa burst in the room.

"What did the stupid siliconed girl say ?"

"Ho ! Speaking about fool…"

"Are you looking for a fight Miss Glove Box ?" Rinoa hissed.

"Glove bo…" Aeris roared with laughing. "NYAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA"

"Wha… ?" said a confused Tifa.

"Yeah yeah !" Rinoa continued "Big shapes but nothing useful inside !"

"Bitch !" She charged the girl in blue who dodged. Tifa stumbled and fell in the stairs.

"TIFAAAAAA !" Cloud shouted from downstairs. "WHO did this !"

"Rinoa !" Aeris answered innocently. The brunette shot a dirty look to her. "Bitch" she mumbled.

Cloud entered the room and drew his sword "You're dead !"

Then Squall appeared. "Don't you dare… !"

"What !" Cloud yelled. "Don't meddle with my business, stupid introvert guy !"

"Hedgehog !"

Well, you all know what happen next. They started a fight.

"Omnislash !"

"Lionheart !"

"Stop copy me !"

"Shut up !"

Both girls watch the fight for a while. "Um… Why don't we go drink some tea" Aeris proposed to Rinoa.

"Yeah, why not. But… Arent' you he one who told on me for Tifa ?"

The flower merchant turned pale. "Errr… We-weeell… it was just a joke !" she swallowed.

"Ho really ? I have a funny one too !" Rinoa said.

"What… is it ?" Aeris asked.

Rinoa whistle and her dog came. "Wishing Star !"

"ARRGGGHHH !"

"That was funny, wasn't it ?" She asked in front of the bloody body of Aeris. "Bi…tch.." she choked. "Final attack…"Rinoa turned pale herself. "Neo… Bahamut…"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAHHH"

"Rinoa ! Nooo !" Squall yelled, taking her in his arms.

"Dammit" Cloud shouted, imitating the Seed one with Aeris.

"Tchh… That's this damn zombie who did this to you, isn't it ? I'm gonna cut her in two !" Squall threatened.

"You will already be dead ! You're going to pay what that slut did to Aeris !" Cloud shouted.

--o--

Outside.

"Bastard !" Seifer slammed his fists on the ground.

"You're welcome." Sephiroth smirked.

"I'm gonna… kill ya… Sephiroth…" Kefka choked, half-dead on the ground. The Ex-SOLDIER, approached him and give a little kick. Kefka collapsed completely. "You were saying" Sephiroth laughed.

"Flare star !" Sephiroth turned around when he felt a little tingle in his back. "What was that ?"

"OUIIIIIIIIIIIINNNN" Kuja cried, upset. "Why my attacks have no effect ?"

"Don't worry poor creature" Seymour started with his (damn little) calm voice (US voice)"I will release you from suffering" Kuja quickly run away.

"WARRGGHH ! He's talking nonsense again !" He squeaked.

"What 'nonsense' ?" Seymour frowned.

Seifer appeared in front of him "You're good for talking, but the rest is all shit !" he said.

"Hoooo ! Do you want to verify that, little Seed ?" Seymour smirked.

The blond swallowed "Ye-yeah ! Look at this !" Seifer summoned Alexander.

Meanwhile, Sephiroth was sleeping on a rotten tree trunk. Little horrible ravens were beautifully flying around him.

"Banish" Seymour simply said. Alexander died in outrageous pain.

"Crap !" Seifer cursed.

"It's useless to fight, pitiful creature..." The Guado continued.

"Damn ! He's relative with Yunaleska or what !"

"Yes ?" Yuna popped up "Somebody call m…" she stopped when she saw Seymour."HYYAAAAAAAAAAA ! Seymour !" she screamed.

"Yuna ! You're here" He started to approach her. Then Yuna started running away.

"Heeellp ! He is going to rape me !"

"Ooh ! Come on ! Just a little !" he followed her, drooling. Seifer sweatdropped. Thirty seconds later, Seymour crashed right in front of him, more than burned.

"Wow ! Must have been really hot !" The blond laughed.

"Shut up." The Guado muttered.

"Haha ! Umm…Well, just one left now." Seifer looked at Sephiroth who was still sleeping. "Crossfire !" The former knight attacked……………Cling ! Seifer tried to see through the puff of smoked which had formed. "Did I get him?" he wondered.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !"

"No !" Seifer's eyes widened. Sephiroth appeared, his masamune blade in hand. He stared at his assailant who turned pale.

"You really did think you could defeat me with this ridiculous attack ? he asked laughing.

"It's only the beginning !" Seifer retorted.

"So come on ! Let me see your strong !" Seifer dithered, then charged. Sephiroth smirked.

"Supernova !" he yelled.

"Hu… ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !"

"You don't deserve to fight me ! Me, the all-powerful boss who's not afraid of anything !"

"OMNISLASH !"

"Noooo !" Sephiroth screamed, jumping down. ……………………………………………………………… "Hu ? Wha… ?"

--o--

Back to the interior, if you could still call it an interior.

"LIONHEART !" Squall attacked.

"Urgh ! Re-Omnislash" Cloud counter-attacked. "Argh !"

Rinoa (Wasn't she burn ?), Selphie, Yuna, Ellone, and Xu was standing behind Squall, dressed like cheerleaders. "Yeah ! Go Squall !" They screamed. Behind Cloud, was Tifa (she's still here too ?), Aeris (Also ?), Marlene, Dagger and Riku, in the same situation that the other girls. "Cloud you rock ! Yeah !"

Well, of course, in the end they started fighting each other. Suddenly, Kefka, Seifer and Seymour, covered with bandages burst in the hall. "Help ! Help !" They shouted. Everybody stopped what they where doing. Edea sighed heavily, she wanted to finish sew up Cid' pants and Marlene… errr… she just got out because she didn't really know what she was doing here. Well, nevermind…

"What's going on ?"Cloud asked.

"It's terrible ! An invasion of horror !" Seifer answered horrified.

"No ! Worst" Kefka added. "An invasion of mutants !"

"What do you mean ?" Squall inquired, confused. "Quistis is already back ?"

"No, it's…" Behind Kefka arrived Terra, Rydia, Quina, Eiko and Scarlet.

"You think we're dead ?" Rikku asked, frightened.

"I even think we're in hell !" Tifa replied. "See ? Aeris is there !"

"The Silicone Girl is asking for more ?" Aeris threatened.

"Kyahahaha !" Everybody sweat dropped as they stared at Scarlet with the look who said 'is-she-gone-insane?'. Then Tifa threw herself on Aeris. The attendance watched the battle intensively.

"Umm… She doesn't look like it, but Aeris is a real tigress" Seifer smirked. Kefka nodded.

Meanwhile, Terra came near Rikku. "You know, about what you said…"

Rikku tensed. "Err… What are ya talkin' about ?"

"Morph…"Terra whispered to the Al Bhed, as a sadistic smile appear on her lips.

"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !"

Everybody froze and turn to see Rikku who was thrown on the walls. Squall took his head in his hands. _"Great !"_he thought_"Who's gonna pay the bill for the wallpaper !"_

"I like that colour !" Kefka squealed.

"Bloody red ! It's so great !" Sephiroth shouted

"Seems like these holidays will be interesting", Seifer whispered.

* * *

NEXT CHAPTER : WHO'S GONNA PAY THE BILL ? 

Hope you liked it ! 'till the next chapter ;-)


	3. Who's gonna pay the bill ?

**Vacation Time !**

Disclaimer : Still don't own Final Fantasy

**CHAPTER 3: Who'se gonna pay the bill ?**

**

* * *

**

Our favourite heroes was silently (great hu ? lol) sitting around a large table. They all seemed anxious. At the end of the table, Squall, hands crossed in front of his mouth (like Gendô in Evangelion :p), was watching them.

"So ? An idea ?" he asked.

Another long silence.

"I think" Tifa started, her face very serious. "Dagger has to pay."

"What ?" The princess squeaked "And what else do you want ?"

"Soda" Seifer answered simply.

"Flare !"

"Arrrgghhhhhhhh !"

"Don't think I'm one of those dogs who follow you everywhere !"

"HEY !" Fujin and Raijin protested (Wha..? They shouldn't be here !)

"I think it should be Dagger too." Linoa said, looking to everyone.

"I agree" Aeris added.

"Why ?" The princess was getting angry. "It's not me who destroyed everything !"

"Yeah, but you have more money than us." Tifa stated simply. Dagger frowned.

"In my view, it would be better if everyone pay a little. Everybody is responsible !"

"_True…"_ Squall thought.

"Alright" Seifer stood up, raising his arms a little to gain everyone's attention. "Why don't we let Squall decide ?"

They all nodded and turned toward the Seed.

"_Geez... Me again… !"_ Squall inwardly sighed. "_Let's see… We're all responsible but… I really don't wanna pay for this shit. Especially seeing the amount of this bill…"_

"So ?" Dagger inquired after a while.

"Dagger will pay." Squall announced.

They all cheered. Well all except the interested one.

"YOU BASTARDS !" she yelled. "BAHAMUT !"

"FLAARE !"

"ODIN !"

--o--

"Not again…" Cloud sighed.

"Seems like it's the only thing they can do." Sephiroth said.

"Look who's talking" Squall muttered.

"What ?" Sephiroth turned toward the Seed's leader.

"Nothing."

The bad guy shrugged. No need to argue with this stupid taciturn. He turned back to the fight and avoid a flying Rikku who came splatting against the wall behind him.

Cloud stared at the bloody battle for a while. He frowned. "Errr… Guys ? Is it a good idea to let Dagger like that ? If they kill her, who's gonna pay ?"

They all looked at each other, eyes widened. A chill ran through all of them.

"Damn !" Squall shouted, looking to Cloud."You're not so idiot sometime !"

"What do you mean "sometime" ? The blond frowned.

"Nevermind." Sephiroth started. "Let's sav… err… help… hum… Let's see the Princess of the ruins before she became ruins herself… ! And that we have to pay."

"Alright !" Seifer took a few steps back and shot Kefka straight in the 'battlefield'.

"ASSHOOOOLE !" Kefka yelled as he was beaten to death… again.

"STRIKE !"

"Yeah ?" Cloud said. "You called me ?"

They stared at him and sweatdropped.

"_Guess I'm the only smart characters here"_ Squall thought while Seifer was trying to explain Cloud he said 'strike' and not 'Strife'.

"Shut up, Seediot ! You're thinking too loud !" Sephiroth complained.

"Seediot ?" Squall turned arching an eyebrow.

"Well, you're a seed. So I mix 'seed' and 'idiot'."

Long silence.

"Weird mixing…" The Seed sweatdropped.

"Don't hold it against those pitiful creatures who try to hide their silliness behind some pathetic words." They hear the voice behind them and turned around, looking at Seymour.

"Whoaa !" they freaked out. "Where did ya come from ?"

"You living dead !" Seifer roared.

"I will not even retort to that."

--o--

"NYAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA !"

Everybody stopped what they were doing, killing for most of them, to see a crazy Edea laughed hysterically. They blinked, confused.

"This is your punishment for betraying me in all those fanfics ! That's what it will cost you for being so mean with me !"

ALL : IT IS THE FAULT OF THE AUTHORESS !

Evilyuffie : Fuck you !

Edea started laughing hysterically again before summoned a huge creature, immense and terrific. They all shivered, with fear in the eyes. It was the most horrible thing they ever saw. It had bloody eyes which could have petrified them in a second, with enormous claws covered of haemoglobin which were holding a big chainsaw…

Quistis : The point !

EY : Errr… Sorry.

"Seems familiar…" Ceres whispered.

"That's almost as frightening as when Cecil took off his helmet !" Sabin trembled.

"Reminds me of a movie I saw" Tidus started. "It was a porn-" They all narrowed at him. "A.. Pornishtlev movie…" he finished, unsure.

"Pornishtlev ?" Seifer arched a brow.

"Ye-yeah ! Some Russian who made movies with girls… who… errr… we-were… sheep farming…"

Long silence. They stared suspiciously at a red and sweating Tidus.

"Errr…"

"…" Squall blinked.

"Ha…" Cloud cocked his head.

"Ho…" Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

Selphie chuckled, god knows why.

--o--

"Can we get back to the story now ?" Edea asked.

"Sorry." They bowed.

So, here was a huge creature maculated of blood and with a devastating look. A long strand of acid drool was escaping from his mouth, then they hear a deep growl which could have make the walls to shake, the blood to freeze, Sephiroth to cry, the…

Everybody : We got the idea…

EY : What ? I'm making the suspens last !

Cloud : Go to the point !

EY : Gee… Alright, FAST FORWARD !

A huge beast was… Squall drew his… Ceres took… The monster… But… Edea with… Kefka had a crush… The white horse… Ellone, crying… Dagger and her childhood… Then… The other… Sephiroth under the table… Blast off… a sadistic laugh… blahblahblah…

The creature fell down. Pause.

ALL : WHAT THE HELL ? WE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING !

EY : Tchh… They said it's too slow and when you accelerate a little, they complained… Well, back to the story.

--o--

"OUIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNN" Edea cried. "My beautiful monster !"

Sephiroth observed her a minute, then smirked. He sneaked behind her, face down, an evil smile on his lips, and skewed her with his sword.

"GYAAAAAAAA"

Sephiroth looked up. "Hahaa ! This… errr… "

Aeris put her hands on her hips and stared severely at the tall guy. She took out the sword passing through her chest. "You do it on purpose, don't you ?" She fell on the floor.

"Oops…" Sephiroth scratched the back of his head.

"OUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNN !" Selphie cried to death, fountains of tears escaping from her eyes. "He killed Matron ! He killed Matron ! He killed Matron ! He killed Ma-" She fell on the ground as Sephiroth drew back his masamune of her dying body.

"And I killed the little brat." He said with dreary voice.

Kefka simply stared, then shrugged.

Dagger unexpectedly took a step out of the group and coped with them, frowning. "Enough !" She shouted angrily. "You destroyed the hotel even more now !"

A long silence filled the room. Everyone looked at each other, and after a while they turned back to the princess, a strange smile on their lips.

"Wha-whaat ?" Garnet swallowed with fear as she saw them coming nearer and nearer. Their look sent a chill down her spine.

"Well your Higness..." Seifer started, his voice strangely calm.

"… We're going to fix that." Cloud finished in the same way than Seifer.

"N--- no…" She slowly started to step back, fear filling her features. "No… nooooo… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN !"

Tidus stared at a big board noted "CENSORED". Shrill screaming could be hear behind it as blood was splatting on the walls.

"Why 'non' ? he asked, turning toward Auron.

"Hu ?"

"She said 'non' (no in french) and not 'no'."

Auron stared at him, blinking. "Go play in the lake… with Ixion."

"Alright." He leaved.

"Stupid boy."

--o--

Later, everyone was relaxing in the main hall, watching some princess, covered with blood, bruises all over her face, and hair in a mess, paid the reeeeeaaallly steep bill.

"Hehe !" Sephiroth smirked. "Now that there's no more worry about expenses, I can kill who I want."

Suddenly Cloud popped up in front of him, aiming his sword toward him.

"Hm ?" Sephiroth tilted his head. His rival looked at him, his face really serious.

"It's time I get over with you, Sephiroth !"

To be continued…

* * *

Finally finished this chapter. Sorry it is a little shorter than the last ones. The next may take longer to be update, I still don't know what's gonna happen. Anyway, I'm working on it ! 

See ya ! ;-)


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